Pause in the silence

A gentle reminder that you don't always have to do more to feel better.

The clocks have gone back, and if that's not a sign for us to pause, reset and reflect on the year we've had, I don't know what is. 🍂🤎

Autumn is a season of harvest. A time to reap what we've sown, reflect on how far we've come and, perhaps, acknowledge the things that didn't quite go to plan.

I'll be honest, this year I've experienced burnout more times than I'd like to admit. Even as I write this, I can still feel that little buzzing in the back of my mind, reminding me to slow down.

And that's what I'm hoping to do this autumn. Well, attempting to, anyway, because it's candle season, we have some incredible workshops coming up, and a new candle-making kit is dropping at the end of October. 😂🕯️

But in the spirit of practising what I preach, I wanted to share something I learned in therapy that has genuinely helped me slow down.

For the longest time, I thought slowing down meant doing something relaxing.

Going on a long walk. Attending a yoga class. Lighting a candle and binge-watching that Netflix series.

And don't get me wrong, there's absolutely nothing wrong with any of those things. But at some point, even my self-care started feeling like another list of things to tick off.

I'd do all these supposedly relaxing activities and still feel exhausted.

When I shared this with my therapist, she asked me something that honestly blew my mind:

"Have you ever tried just sitting down and doing nothing?"

No phone. No music. No TV. No intention to fall asleep or achieve anything.

Just being.

So, I tried it. I sat on my bed, put my phone down, turned off the TV and did absolutely nothing.

And something quite powerful happened.

For the first time in a while, I was able to tune in and actually listen to myself.

I realised just how tired I was. Instead of pushing myself to go to the gym because it was on my to-do list, I recognised that what my body actually needed that day was a gentle walk.

It sounds so simple, but I'd become so used to telling myself what I should be doing that I'd stopped listening to what I actually needed.

Since then, I've been practising sitting in silence more often, especially when my mind starts spiralling.

Because we're so used to constantly consuming something, whether that's scrolling on our phones, answering emails, listening to podcasts or watching TV, that sometimes we forget what it feels like to simply exist without needing to fill the silence.

Giving myself that space has helped me reconnect my mind, body and spirit. To meet myself where I am, rather than where I think I should be. To come back home to myself.

And, most importantly, to start recognising the difference between what I want and what I actually need.

Now, I'm not saying we should all abandon our yoga classes, cancel our long walks or become one with the sofa (although, honestly, sometimes that's exactly what we need 😂).

I'm simply inviting you to try a different kind of slowing down this autumn.

Sit with yourself for five minutes. Put your phone away. Turn off the background noise. Give yourself permission to exist without needing to be productive.

It can feel uncomfortable, even scary, to sit with your thoughts. Trust me, I know.

But I've found that the more I create space to listen to myself, the more I learn to trust my own intuition.

And in a world where we're constantly looking outside ourselves for answers, even asking AI to think for us sometimes, I think there's something incredibly powerful about learning to trust ourselves again.

So, as we enter a new season, here's your gentle reminder that you don't always need to do more to feel better. Sometimes, you just need to give yourself the space to listen. 🤎

I'd love to know: when was the last time you gave yourself permission to do absolutely nothing?

With love,
Noku x 🕯️